Becoming IronAdam

Today I graduated from the Paul Merage School of Business with my MBA. It was such an awesome day. My family was there to support me, and I had a great time with friends cheering, laughing, and just enjoying our last few hours together before the MBA ended. The experience was bittersweet, but one I’ll remember for a long time.

Three years ago, when I decided to start my MBA, I chose a fully employed, regional program because 1) I didn’t want to go into debt and  2) I was getting married and I didn’t want to be apart from my wife.  For the first 1-2 years, I really doubted the value of the MBA and whether it was worth it. As I graduate today, I feel so lucky to have gone through this experience.

I made so many wonderful relationships that I know I will have for a very long time. I’ve found an awesome friend and training partner in Matt, a new female bff in Nour, an awesome friend and business partner in Sherry (and another sistard through this relationship), a gay partner in Mark (we both went to all boys high schools, so we get each other ), and countless other friends who I will no doubt keep in touch with (and I won’t name all of you at risk of leaving out a name, but you know who you are). To me, this masters in business taught me truly what’s important in life, which is friendship and connecting with others, for that is what life is about. As I’ve questioned countless times in this blog, when I die, that is what will make me die happy.

Jenn, my ex-wife, also attended. I must say that this moment was truly bittersweet. I married Jenn two weeks after the MBA started, and today I graduate only a few weeks from finalizing our divorce papers. It’s pretty hard to describe the emotions I felt spending this afternoon with her.

Jenn is my best friend. She probably knows me better than anyone. As you’ve read in my previous blog posts, our marriage was not meant to be. I’ve had advice from people about whether its good or bad to remain friends during this period of transition from married couple to friends, and I must say that the answer to that question is a tough one. Today is a great example of why.

Hanging out for lunch with my family and Sherry’s family felt like old times. That feeling too is one of happiness in the moment, but sadness when it ends. The end of that moment is the realization that things have changed, and what felt normal for so long is now different. I wish I could describe that with a better word, but its very difficult to explain that feeling. It’s one of pain, anxiety, sadness, but also one of happiness that Jenn and I could realize we’re much better friends than a couple.

There are several “ends” in a divorce. There’s deciding on leaving each other, moving out, creating a separation agreement, signing divorce papers, and moving on with other people. All of these events signify an “end” that is difficult to go through, but makes the next inevitable steps in life easier.

Today, when I dropped Jenn off and went back to our old place, I felt this was another “end”. We had both officially completed our educational pursuits in the past two weeks, and these pursuits began when we were dating. I don’t know if you can only imagine what that feels like, but it’s definitely an unsettling feeling. We’ve finished our education and are moving on to the next stages of our life without each other. The other “end” comes in a month when she moves to SF. These ends get easier, but they’re still hard to deal with in the moment.

Despite how tough these experiences can be, I’m thankful for what Jenn and I have. We get each other, and although we don’t have the relationship love that makes a marriage work, we have that friendship love where we can count on each other. Although it’s a tough transition and space is good, these days are worth every minute.

I’ve revealed a lot in these posts, and I hope being real for each of you reading this helps you in your life. When you go through something similar or have a friend or family member who also encounters these sorts of events, I hope that my blog provides some insight into what could be going through that person’s heart. It’s easy to describe the mind, but the heart tends to hide behind that tough exterior that exists in all of us. I’ve tried to move beyond this exterior and reveal what’s deep down.

So today I graduate an MBA. But I’m no master of business, that’s for sure. I am on this journey of life. After several years of searching for my path, I finally feel like I’m on it. To me, the mastery of life has begun. Thankfully, it can’t be mastered, and I will forever be a student!

Here’s to my day of reflection…