Archive for category Goals

Ironman California 70.3 in a few days

Plastic 52: Week 10It’s just a few days until Oceanside half iron, and I’m starting to get nervous. I was fine until last night, and then I noticed I’m not sleeping as well, my stomach is turning a bit more, and I’m starting to think about a swim with 2500 other people. Plus, there’s that thing about trying to meet goals – why do I do this to myself???

My training was going really well, but work really picked up and I found it a struggle to find time to be with family, handle life’s duties, work, and train. In the weekly summary for this year below, you can see that I was sticking to the plan until the last week of February. I had to go to Greece for a management meeting for work, and I lost both weekends, which is where I usually get about 60% of my weekly training time from. Why I lost BOTH weekends is another story (thank you German airports – you SCREWED ME/US).

I tried to pick it back up last week before tapering, but I definitely lost some of my fitness. I can handle the distance, but the speed at those distances that I was becoming accustomed to was much more difficult. I feel comfortable in finishing, but I think I need to lower my expectations for what time I can achieve. Prepare for the worst but accept the best!

The one thing I’m really looking forward to after this weekend is a much needed break. I’ve been training pretty hard since last March when I started training for the July 2009 SF Marathon, and I’ve been going nonstop since. That’s over a year of training without a break, and a huge ramp up in the winter when most people take time off. After this race, I’ll be working out, but not really training. I hope to pick it back up in May/June when I start the long road to Ironman Arizona! I hope to have more time at that point to really detail my progression towards Becoming Ironadam.

If you have any interest in checking out the official Ironman event on Saturday, click on the link above. There is also an athlete guide that breaks down the rules, the places to park, the course, etc… I’m the last swim wave, starting at around 7:40 AM. Transition closes at 6:30 AM, so that may be a long hour :) If you have any interest in meeting up with me after the race, send me an email/text and I’ll let you know where we can meet! If time permits, I’ll follow this post up with my race strategy before Saturday.

One last note: in that athlete guide, check out the rules in biking related to passing, drafting, etc… Gnarly! I wonder how much those are enforced. 20 seconds to pass…20 seconds if passed to move back…no clipped in pedals for transitions. I guess I hope I don’t get penalized for anything (imagine sitting in a tent for 4 minutes)

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Why social media isn’t good for….me

The downside of being a fully employed triathlete is that there is a lot less time for social media, including writing this blog. I’ve taken on a lot more responsibility at work, and I’ve seen my free time slowly vanish into oblivion (yes, that happened slowly). I’ve broken down my time into work, training, girlfriend, dog, and sometimes there’s a little leftover for [insert something fun here]. And definitely not in that order (right, Adrienne :) ). Given these time constraints, I’ve simplified my life and really focused on what’s important.

And with that….I’ve struggled a lot internally with the benefits of this blog and of social media in general. I keep coming back to what is the point – if this is a journal, why does it need to be public? Are others learning from what I write? I know I read other blogs because I learn a lot from those people – about workouts, about new products, and about how to go about a daily life. But why should I feel I’m that important?

And what about social media? I didn’t realize how much time social media took up until I gave it up for the past month and realized how much more time I had, how I could finally focus on things that were important and not get distracted every 10 minutes with incoming facebook posts or twitter feeds. I should note that I am continuing to avoid it even after my month hiatus ended, which should be the clearest indicator of how I felt that month went.

But it’s more than just gaining time. Because of the lack of deep meaningful relationships built over social media, I found that I was becoming someone I didn’t like. For example, I was extremely active in dailymile before I left for my Greece trip nearly two weeks ago. Daily mile was the one site I was continuing to update/check despite my social media break.  I haven’t posted since that trip, and damn I feel good. I found that I was often working out just to see what others thought of my workouts. I even would venture to say that I’d workout for other people’s critique. I was even calling out other people’s embellishments because of that inner baby, i mean competitive spirit, within me. I lost sight of what training is about, of what I set out to do when I decided to do an Ironman last summer. Yes, community is great. But when I start doing things for others or what others think, I’ve fallen off the path I set.

In addition, I think social media is very self interested with the appearance of being social and for the betterment of the community. I convinced myself that I was doing social media for myself and trying to help others, but then I realized that I created a feeling of self importance. Do people really care? Or do people care about you because they want you to care about them? And let me clarify: I’m referring to the people too that you don’t know in real life. I really care about what my friends are doing, and to be honest, since I took my social media hiatus at the beginning of February, I’ve missed knowing what those people are doing on a day to day basis.

But going back to my point, I want to clarify this. I stopped interacting with a number of people online because I felt they were in this category, and they drove me nuts. To illustrate, let me give you a “real life” example rather than an online one. A friend of mine in high school would always want people to come to him. Everything was at his house. If things took place elsewhere, somehow it seemed to end back at his place. The parties came to him, he didn’t go to the parties. When I look back at these events, I’d say I ended up at his house for nine things for every one he came to mine. But it always appeared that he was just being social and fun and his place just happened to be more of a cooler place to hang. To me, this is narcissism. Why do I make the efforts to go to you when things aren’t reciprocated. That is not community.

What I found in social media is that many people possess this – they communicate and talk to others because they want those same people to follow them and come to their site and check out what they have to say. It’s very self interested, although it appears to be “community building”. I found myself creeping into that category. I could give you examples of these people, but I think you’d know them if you think about your interactions in this context. Do they really care about you? Do they really want to help you or do they simply want to tell you how great they are and thank you for supporting them? Or do they talk to you because they want you to read their blog? This type of person has left a sour taste in my mouth for social media, and I can be hard on myself because at times, I’ve slipped into this category.

So what’s been my answer – giving up on social media. I still check out blogs of the people I enjoy following. And I plan to continue to blog as soon as work dies down a bit (which may be never, but somehow I’ll figure out how to do both). Based on what I’ve said, one could argue that I’m continuing to go down this narcissistic path by blogging, but this is one area I disagree. I blog for those close to me who want to find out what I deeply care about. I blog so that I can have a journal of what I do, and maybe that journal of training and life can help others on their chosen path. But with a blog, people can choose to read. They can find me possibly in a search engine on a topic they care about. They don’t have to follow me or friend me. It’s  a one sided option.

I know many of you may disagree with this, and I’d love to hear about it. But for me, my interactions have become more meaningful since I gave up social media, and I’ve found the time to keep in touch with those I need to keep in touch with. Surprisingly, I’ve even discovered how to use the phone again! Crazy!

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One way to start the new year

January is over, and the stats are in: it was one hell of a month to start the ironman year. Just finished my first build period, well, the hard part of it at least with a recovery week to come. One build period left, then peak, then race time!

Overall, I got in 50 hours of training, ~500 miles on the bike, ~100 miles running, and nearly 6 hours in the pool (yes, slacking here). 4 total hours of pilates, and a lot of foam rolling. It was a great start to what I expect to be an awesome year of training and pushing my body to new levels. A few keys to success after an enduring month:

  1. Balance, balance, balance – training is a hobby, not a profession. If i miss a workout, so be it. I must remain dedicated, but not at the cost of the true values in life
  2. Recovery weeks – yes, three weeks in a row is tough, but that fourth week makes it worthwhile. As the saying goes, make the hard workouts hard and the easy ones easy. Must stick to this
  3. The indoor trainer will be key to improving my cycling skills. Yes, the long base workouts help, but hills and intervals will be my path to success
  4. Swimming sucks – it’s more enjoyable when you mix up the workouts, but I’d rather be running
  5. I miss running – 3 days a week and a 100 miles is a lot in a month, but I miss the days of the real long weekend runs and 3-4 days in a row during the week. Next year I guess
  6. It will be tough to keep up this workload when I start traveling for work. Bring the shoes and get some runs in. Don’t get down on travel as it’s critical to success in a global company
  7. I think my heart rate monitor is broken – it’s giving me reads of over 200 for an entire workout. I feel lost without it and I must get a new one

In case you’re interested, here are the stats:

Surf City next weekend, Palm Springs Century next…will be an awesome few weeks!

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Time is a limited resource

I don’t know about you, but I often wish I had the life of a cat or a dog. I roam around the house, chillin, eatin, poopin, peein, sleepin. That’s about it. And it would be a dog, so I can play a little more than just eat, sleep and waste. Of course, this life is not for me given my athletic lifestyle, but there are days, like when I look at this picture of Kaila to the left, that I just wish I could sleep for a whole day guilt free.

I guess I can. On a Saturday or Sunday. Maybe. Or call in sick. But it’s just not in my D.N.A. I like to be busy. I am, based on personality tests, an achiever. An introverted achiever, but an achiever nonetheless. What motivates me is pushing myself to get better. This often contradicts with my goal of enjoying the journey, but I even strive to achieve mastering the process (kind of contradictory, I guess). I always strive to get better. I like hearing what I’m bad at and actually have a hard time taking compliments. I enjoy being told that I can’t do something because then it pushes me that much harder to do it. I wish I knew what made me like this, like what childhood event pushed me to want to prove people wrong. Was it my sister who said that when I get into junior high, my grades will go down, and when they didn’t, well, they’d go down in high school? Who knows! But I can tell you that was motivation to get better grades. Maybe I’m onto something…

So I digress…the point of this is that one thing I really fail at that I just wish I could do better is find the time to maintain this blog. It seems minor, but with how much I’ve learned from what others share/write, I feel like I could really give back in that way. I wish that I could blog at least 3-4x a week. I see the production of people like Danica with the Chic Runner blog, Brandon with his Brandon’s Marathon (blog, show, and everything), my all-time favorite blog in the world, Ray at DC Rainmaker (who finds time to blog more than me amidst a 15 day trip to Asia!), and lately Pete’s Runblogger and his scientific methods, and I totally wish I could find or make time to do something similar.

I read so much about training and have learned so much from my friendly twitter, facebook and daily mile community that I feel like I want to give back to everyone by discussing what I learn.I’ve also been told that my work ethic and dedication have inspired several people to get out of their place and run, or bike, or swim when they weren’t feeling up to it. If I can have that impact sharing some quick tid bits on daily mile, then what else can I provoke in people?

But between the typical 8-5 (and it’s now become a bit more than 8-5 as my responsibility increases), work travel, the 12 hours of training, my girlfriend, my family, my friends, the puppy, the cats, and well, my own free time for my sanity, there’s not much time to document these videos, to put in the pictures I take, or to sit down and write out my thoughts and feelings from the workout I just implemented from a training plan I’m writing from scratch. I guess I look at the trade-offs and say, do I sacrifice the 30 minutes of sleep?  So far, that answer has been no.

And THAT’s the crazy thing. Because I’m training harder, I want to eat healthier, which means cooking more and picking up less crap for dinner. It means making lunches. It means trying to get a little bit more sleep when I can. It means trying to conserve energy so I can be present for conversation with my girlfriend and to be playful with my puppy when she needs to burn some energy! The lifestyle commitment I’ve chosen requires more time, and it’s just pulling time from other things.

Time is a valuable commodity. I like the fact that its a limited resource because it makes us choose what is important, and I think I’ve done that. I guess I wonder how others do it. How do they make time and provide a wealth of information for others to learn from? I am envious of those who do it, and do it well. Envy isn’t a good thing, so maybe that’s not the right word, but I do want to be like you (yeah, that’s envy :) )

How do you manage your time? How do you prioritize? Is it based on your values? Do you even think about this stuff? Please share – as usual, I’m willing to learn.

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Year in Review

A year has past, and what a year has it been. I love these end of the year posts (last year’s post is here) because it gives me a time to reflect on things that went well in my life, things that didn’t go to well, things I want to change going into the new year, and that which is all good.

Entering last year, I wasn’t in the best place. I was in a struggling marriage, and this life struggle was disrupting the equilibrium with the other things in life. I was having trouble focusing on work, I had trouble focusing on my goals, and I had no idea what I wanted. I had trouble sleeping, and everything was cloudy. Was this what life was supposed to be like, I often questioned. I would often sit in front of my computer for hours, chatting, tweeting, stumbling (literally) endlessly with that awesome firefox plug in stumbleupon! I was distracting myself, constantly. If you want to see some of the dark places I reached and things I questioned, check out my posts on life (you can read here) for the first 3-4 months last year. Some of my most reflective/sad/interesting (heartbr8king, emotions – good or bad, alone, living with loss).

Once we decided to divorce, I started running. I ran a lot. It was my escape. I had run in my first marathon the previous year (2008), and I really enjoyed it despite the hellish pain of getting across the finish line. And yes, I never did a 5k, 10k, half marathon or any race for that matter…I jumped right into the marathon, and not just to finish, but to finish in under 4 hours (I finished SF, one of the harder marathons, in 3:52:42). It was a big accomplishment for me, and the feeling I got from overcoming those “impossible” barriers made me feel…made me feel, great!

So when I went through this struggle, I decided to run, and when I ran, I was at peace. I had a clear head. My buddy Matt suggested cycling, so I started riding too, but just for fun. When I was on that road though, I felt free. I could feel my body, my heart beat, my head sweat, my legs hurt. That feeling though was amazing, and for the first time in a while, I really felt alive.

So…I trained. I ran a lot. I started cycling a lot. I did a half marathon (OC)…I did a full marathon (SF). I picked up swimming and did my first triathlon…an Olympic distance event in San Diego where I crushed my goal time by over 23 minutes (2:22 vs. a goal of 2:45). I started believing in myself. I started reading about running, about training, about pedaling, about cycling. I found a community on twitter that I learned so much from. I found something to be passionate about…again! It had been a while!

I also finished my MBA in June, and although I didn’t have the greatest experience in the classroom, I met some awesome friends along the way, and more importantly, I met a special someone the day before graduation. It was a random introduction from someone I just met, and that 5 minute intro turned into a facebook message, then a facebook conversation, then some text messages, then a few phone calls, text flirting for a week, a first date, a second date, and well…a great pick up to the second half of my year. It’s been an awesome six months now, and that is one of the things giving some positive momentum to this new year that I’m very excited about!

In June, I also got a new Abby kitten I named RED, which funny enough came from him being a pREDator, but also because he is a red abyssinian. I love animals (if you haven’t gathered), and if I had a bigger place, I’d probably have a full farm. J/K. Kind of. :) Red is awesome. I always believed in having two cats since I work full time, they can keep each other company during the day. I had Toby and Riley from the same litter nearly five years ago, and when I decided to give Riley to my ex-wife since he truly was always her cat, I wanted to find Toby a partner. Red was the perfect companion, being even more dog like than Toby. He follows me everywhere, fetches, growls at the door, and wants to go for walks (which I will avoid :) . Sadly enough, as I wrote about in this post, Riley passed on in October, which was also a down moment this year. This was hard for me to deal with even though Riley was now Jenn’s cat because of my attachment to animals. I keep telling myself he’s in a good place and it was his time, but I still get torn up when I think about him.

In December, I went on a sweet Hawaii vacation, my first week off since my honeymoon 3 years ago. Upon my return, the day of in fact, I got Kaila. Kaila is the first dog I’ve ever owned, and although she proved to be a handful at first, I’m really starting to love her. She is so damn cute, and although I’m still trying to find my groove with her between playing, training (training her, not triathlon training :) , and pure dominance training (yes I pin her and growl at her showing my teeth – must be the pack leader), I’m finally starting to see why dogs are so freakin awesome!  Next August or so, she’ll be my new running partner. I can’t wait. I hope I can keep up with her!!!

So that is my year for you. I’ve been employed by the same company from start to finish, hired my first employee at this company, and made some big strides there developing the business analytics program. To be honest, 2010 will be the year that defines business analytics at my company. I’m excited to see what happens. But let’s get back to my hobby before departing. Below are two images that summarize my year:

This is a summary by sport of what I did in 2010. I started keeping track of the type of run, swim, and cycling ride in October, so that’s why you see somewhat of a sporadic summary. The totals are:

  • Running: 1175 miles … this is funny, but in my post last year when I ran 666.4 miles, I said I don’t know if I’ll ever run this mileage again because I’m now swimming and cycling. And I nearly doubled that running mileage :) In 2010, I hope to get up to 1500 miles, which may be tough since I’ll do less run training than 2010
  • Swimming: 22 hours … Difficult to get mileage here, but this isn’t very much. I’ll blow this away in 2010
  • Cycling: 2017 miles … although this seems like a lot, it’s really not. I’m guessing I’ll at least double this amount this year.

This image is the the most interesting to me. This is a summary by month of all sports. The thing I find fascinating here is check out my total time and my heart rate. The number of hours has really gone up the last few months as I’ve taken training seriously. But what’s most fascinating is that my average heart rate has gone down over this period of time. There could be several factors at play here, but I think it represents two things 1) I’m getting in better shape and 2) I’m cycling more, which typically results in a lower heart rate. Either way, I’m really proud of the progression. The down month in October was the result of a taper for a peak marathon (MCM) as well as a slight taper for the triathlon I was in.

That’s my 2009. Here’s to a great 2010! Happy New Year everyone!

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2010 Goals

Goal's!I’m trying to keep it simple this year. And not overdo it. Maybe that should be my only goal :) It’s the new year, so here’s my list for 2010:

Measurable Goals

  1. Date night with the girl, at least once a week
  2. Complete Ironman Arizona (and do it in less than 12 hours)
  3. Complete one Lynda training session per month
  4. Read one book per month
  5. Build out business analytics team and complete business metric framework for executive management
  6. Complete technical roadmap for data warehouse methodology
  7. House train my puppy
  8. Train Kaila to sit, come, lay down, stay, shake, roll over, run, and NOT JUMP on people

Subjective GoalsDSC_0491

  1. Continue to develop my stronger voice. It’s there. Be brave enough to use it.
  2. Train because I love it, not because I have to
  3. Races are not the end. Everything is for the experience. Don’t get upset if I fail to meet my ambitious racing goals
  4. When you think you don’t have enough left in the tank, it’s still half full. Keep going
  5. Training is a hobby. Don’t let it get in the way of the most important things in life

I’ve been reflecting a lot on 2009 as well. That post to come soon! I hope everyone had a fantastic new year!

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What elements impact our workouts?

Paris WorkoutI had a great conversation with a friend today. He’s very analytical, but primarily focused on business. He read my blog and mentioned that he enjoyed my scientific approach to training. He made some suggestions that I should monitor and study how they impact my workouts.

My workout today, a very fast paced zone 1 (barely to zone 1) workout that was as fast as my zone 2 portion of my workout on Saturday, got me thinking about the details of a run and what impacts heart rate, and therefore, pace. My guess is the hot, humid weather impacted my heart rate on Saturday versus the cool morning today. But who knows. It could of been diet, sleep, etc..

I kind of want to know. I thought about all the things that can impact a workout. I instantly thought about multiple regression models that could predict the workout time for a given heart rate based on all of these factors. Yup, I’m a nerd.

But first step would be, what factors influence a run and/or bike workout, and maybe even a swim workout. All things that could impact the workout even a little should be considered, and we can let the multiple regression model workout which ones are actually significant. Even without a regression model, I’m sure we can identify trends. Here’s what I’ve got so far, and I believe there are multiple ways some of these can be filled in, so it will take a little more though (please comment if you have other influencers):

  1. Day before diet
  2. Day of diet
  3. Diet during workout
  4. Hydration
  5. Temperature
  6. Humidity
  7. Wind
  8. Weather conditions (rain, hail, snow)
  9. Pollen count (friend thinks this affects people more than we believe it does)
  10. Equipment (e.g. clothes, bike, hydration packs, shoes)
  11. Company (e.g. friends, training clubs)
  12. Sleep quantity (number of hours)
  13. Sleep quality (restful / not restful)
  14. Stress (maybe high stress is good for workouts)
  15. Hills
  16. Bowel movements (yup, all athletes know this can make/break a workout)
  17. Time awake before workout (similar to time of day)
  18. Stretching before
  19. Pains (e.g. nagging pains, injuries, soreness, tightness, etc..)
  20. Motivation (e.g. excited, not excited, bored)
  21. Workout stops (my guess is stopping at lights makes shorter runs easier since the heart rate has a chance to recover)

A fairly exhaustive list. What am i missing?

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Training is really a science

bridge runnersI’m pretty amazed at how much science there is in training. I’ve been reading several training books over the past few weeks, using Joe Friel’s The Triathlete’s Training Bible as my main source for coming up with a training schedule for the next 62 weeks (post marathon October 25th to end of 2010).

Given the races I want to complete, this requires careful planning. I want to race these events, not just finish, which changes the tone of training. Friel breaks out his swim, biking, running into endurance, force and speed skills as well as muscular endurance, anaerobic endurance, and power. Think of this like a triangle with the 3 points being endurance, force and speed, with muscular endurance connecting endurance/force, anaerobic endurance connecting speed and endurance, and power connecting speed/force.

This sounds complicated, but when you start thinking about training in these dimensions, it’s very quick to see where you need help and how certain workouts that target these applications can really improve your times. If you just want to finish, this doesn’t matter. If you want to improve your times, this is critical.

So far, I’ve started developing my weekly schedule for next year, and I plan on training for about 700 hours next year, racing in three marathons, two half marathons, a couple 5ks, a half ironman, an ironman, and 3-4 olympic/sprint triathlons. Yes it sounds like a lot, but several of these races will be lower priority that I will use as training for the main events, AKA A priority races.

The other components on top of developing this triangle are nutrition, rest, and technique, particularly when it comes to swimming. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve started working on my swimming technique with total immersion swimming drills. Although I’ve only spent about 2.5 hours in the pool doing these drills, I can already feel the improvement. I do need to improve my breathing technique though as I’m way too tired from poor breathing!

I’ll keep you posted on my schedule as I come up with it. I’d be happy to entertain any questions you have on schedules…although I’m not an expert, I’m learning a lot, quickly.

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Don’t forget to dry your feet

runningI did a 30 minute swim followed by a 5 mile run today. Total exercise time of about 66 minutes (good pace of about 7:12 for the run with two mile tempo laps in there of 6:45 each). It was the first time running in tri shorts, wet tri shorts at that. It wasn’t too bad. I thought it would be a lot worse. No chafing, no pain.

The one thing I learned quickly though is take the time to dry your feet and put on your socks right. I jumped out of the pool, dried off quickly, put on my socks, shoes, shirt, heart rate monitor, switched the garmin to running, and took off.

About 4 miles into the run, my right toes HURT! I didn’t think much of it and kept going. When I got home, I examined and noticed a decent sized blister on my second toe on my right foot. I assume this had to do with my feet being wet and not completely drying them before running. Lesson learned: take the extra 15 seconds to dry your feet completely AND 30 seconds to straighten out your socks. This could be bad if the blister doesn’t go away by my Saturday long run!

I also started my total immersion swimming drills today, which is why you don’t see me listing a distance. I was amazed at how hard they were to do. It was quickly apparent how poor my swimming form is despite feeling like I was a good swimmer.

Unfortunately this means I need several hours in the pool to fix my form. I spent 30 minutes on lesson 1 today, and I feel like he’s dead on in saying you need 3-4 weeks per lesson, 3-4 days a week of an hour in the pool. I just wish I had the time. I guess I have to think beyond my October 10th race to next year’s Half Ironman.

I do look forward to fixing my form though. It felt good with more work in my hips rather than shoulders. Plus, it just felt easier. 30 minutes in the pool was nothing. That’s a great feeling!

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The Uncertain Path

UncertaintySo i know what you’re thinking. Uncertain path, must be about being alone, about sadness, about the unknown. Well I’ve been trying to remain optimistic this entire week. I’ve had some good news, some bad news, and through it all, I’ve tried to find the good. And it’s been awesome. What a great week!

But what I want to write about tonight is the uncertain path and what it means. To me, the uncertain path is the future. It can be hours from now, or years. It doesn’t matter.

Uncertainty can take many forms. In the short term, you may not know what your boss is going to give you to do at work, if there will be traffic, what you’re going to eat tonight. Long term, you may not know if you’re going to have kids, die at 40, get an educational degree. Uncertainty surrounds us, constantly. I have often feared this. And this week, I’ve come to understand this a bit more.

For me, uncertainty is scary for a few reasons:

  1. Lack of faith – if I had faith, changing circumstances would most likely occur for a reason. Without faith, is there purpose or reason to things
  2. Lack of control – if I can’t control something, then how do I get comfortable with it

The more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve realized that i struggle with uncertainty because of my lack of faith. I don’t mean religion either, I mean trust in a future outcome because there is something greater than ourselves at work in the world (as I wrote about here).When I think about control, I’ve learned based on my recent divorce that I’m not in control. Some things yes, but when it comes to life, I can only do so much. So I keep coming back to faith…

So how do you believe and trust in something good so that anxiety about uncertainty goes away? I know it may not completely go away, but I mean minimize it as much as possible. I’ve read several books that have really caught my attention about faith (new earth, manifest your destiny), but i still struggle in practice.

Faith may come naturally to people who have grown up with it. But what do I do when I know I want it, but know it will not be through religion? That is my struggle this year. My goal is to let go, believe that some things may be meant to be, and just do my best in those things that are within my control.

Is this confusing or do others also experience this? Comments are much appreciated :)

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