The downside of being a fully employed triathlete is that there is a lot less time for social media, including writing this blog. I’ve taken on a lot more responsibility at work, and I’ve seen my free time slowly vanish into oblivion (yes, that happened slowly). I’ve broken down my time into work, training, girlfriend, dog, and sometimes there’s a little leftover for [insert something fun here]. And definitely not in that order (right, Adrienne ). Given these time constraints, I’ve simplified my life and really focused on what’s important.

And with that….I’ve struggled a lot internally with the benefits of this blog and of social media in general. I keep coming back to what is the point – if this is a journal, why does it need to be public? Are others learning from what I write? I know I read other blogs because I learn a lot from those people – about workouts, about new products, and about how to go about a daily life. But why should I feel I’m that important?

And what about social media? I didn’t realize how much time social media took up until I gave it up for the past month and realized how much more time I had, how I could finally focus on things that were important and not get distracted every 10 minutes with incoming facebook posts or twitter feeds. I should note that I am continuing to avoid it even after my month hiatus ended, which should be the clearest indicator of how I felt that month went.

But it’s more than just gaining time. Because of the lack of deep meaningful relationships built over social media, I found that I was becoming someone I didn’t like. For example, I was extremely active in dailymile before I left for my Greece trip nearly two weeks ago. Daily mile was the one site I was continuing to update/check despite my social media break.  I haven’t posted since that trip, and damn I feel good. I found that I was often working out just to see what others thought of my workouts. I even would venture to say that I’d workout for other people’s critique. I was even calling out other people’s embellishments because of that inner baby, i mean competitive spirit, within me. I lost sight of what training is about, of what I set out to do when I decided to do an Ironman last summer. Yes, community is great. But when I start doing things for others or what others think, I’ve fallen off the path I set.

In addition, I think social media is very self interested with the appearance of being social and for the betterment of the community. I convinced myself that I was doing social media for myself and trying to help others, but then I realized that I created a feeling of self importance. Do people really care? Or do people care about you because they want you to care about them? And let me clarify: I’m referring to the people too that you don’t know in real life. I really care about what my friends are doing, and to be honest, since I took my social media hiatus at the beginning of February, I’ve missed knowing what those people are doing on a day to day basis.

But going back to my point, I want to clarify this. I stopped interacting with a number of people online because I felt they were in this category, and they drove me nuts. To illustrate, let me give you a “real life” example rather than an online one. A friend of mine in high school would always want people to come to him. Everything was at his house. If things took place elsewhere, somehow it seemed to end back at his place. The parties came to him, he didn’t go to the parties. When I look back at these events, I’d say I ended up at his house for nine things for every one he came to mine. But it always appeared that he was just being social and fun and his place just happened to be more of a cooler place to hang. To me, this is narcissism. Why do I make the efforts to go to you when things aren’t reciprocated. That is not community.

What I found in social media is that many people possess this – they communicate and talk to others because they want those same people to follow them and come to their site and check out what they have to say. It’s very self interested, although it appears to be “community building”. I found myself creeping into that category. I could give you examples of these people, but I think you’d know them if you think about your interactions in this context. Do they really care about you? Do they really want to help you or do they simply want to tell you how great they are and thank you for supporting them? Or do they talk to you because they want you to read their blog? This type of person has left a sour taste in my mouth for social media, and I can be hard on myself because at times, I’ve slipped into this category.

So what’s been my answer – giving up on social media. I still check out blogs of the people I enjoy following. And I plan to continue to blog as soon as work dies down a bit (which may be never, but somehow I’ll figure out how to do both). Based on what I’ve said, one could argue that I’m continuing to go down this narcissistic path by blogging, but this is one area I disagree. I blog for those close to me who want to find out what I deeply care about. I blog so that I can have a journal of what I do, and maybe that journal of training and life can help others on their chosen path. But with a blog, people can choose to read. They can find me possibly in a search engine on a topic they care about. They don’t have to follow me or friend me. It’s  a one sided option.

I know many of you may disagree with this, and I’d love to hear about it. But for me, my interactions have become more meaningful since I gave up social media, and I’ve found the time to keep in touch with those I need to keep in touch with. Surprisingly, I’ve even discovered how to use the phone again! Crazy!