Posts Tagged berkeley

life trifecta – answering the question, who am i?

sunset6i want to thank @raymondpirouz for his thoughts on my blog post last night via twitter. he had some great insights, but really what I took from him the most was what he referred to as the triangle of life: passion, love, and faith. For faith, i could also think of this as hope, as my previous post from shawshank referred to.

think about that for a moment. i mean literally, stop reading, breathe, close your eyes, and think about those three words: passion, love and hope. do you find those three things prevalent in your life? If so, do you feel your purpose or do you question it?

i look at my life, and i have hope. I have love. And well, i think I’m missing passion. i wrote one of my first posts about being lost when i quit golf back in 1999. i was more passionate than you could imagine back then. I loved golf, and in turn, I loved life.

I practiced when the sun was out, before school, after school, in my room when it was dark, studying books on the sport, practicing in my dorm hallway at school when it was raining outside. I was truly passionate, and each day, I was so happy to wake up and play that game. it carried forward through my life. i was a happier person back then…

quitting left a void. And i became diligent about business, studying and learning so I could be as good as I could be, but there is a big difference between diligence and passion. Passion has an underlying happiness under it. I believe with passion, combined with love, I feel like I could die tomorrow and I would be happy. Passion makes you appreciate everything around you. When I was playing golf, I could appreciate the feeling of outdoors, the sprinkles of rain, the sun, the grass, visualizing a shot, the beauty that lies within a golf course and the camaraderie of playing with fellow golfers and teammates.

now I sit here, 10 years later, making a good living, loving unconditionally, enjoying work, developing friendships, but missing that piece that drives me. I loved @chathri’s comment about being attached to material things. ive felt that recently, and i’m finally aware of how unhealthy it is.  @raymondpirouz also talked about this today referring to CEO pay and how ridiculous is it for someone to need millions of dollars. what world do we live in when that becomes what most people (as opposed to everyone) want?

if we’re driven by money, i believe we end up unhappy. in the end, money doesn’t get us connection, love, passion. but for some reason, it seems to buy temprorary happiness. but when that is gone, what do you have? who are u?

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what is important to you?

tough question, right? my friend said this was the stanford MBA admission essay question, and it got me thinking, what is important to me? here were my initial thoughts

  • my family – would i exist without them? they taught me most of the things i know today
  • my wife – with everything she’s taught me about life, hardship, love, she has to be important
  • my friends – without their support, where would i be?
  • my job and income – yes it provides my lifestyle and ability to learn, but is this truly important in the long run?
  • my traits – what makes me, well, me. my passion, my desire to learn, my work ethic

so all of these things flashed through my head, and each one of them is important in its own way. but underneath it all, i realized there are life events that change a person, and to me, these stood out as what is important to me.

1. I quit golf

this may not seem like a big event to most people, but imagine that you dreamed to be an astronaut your entire life, you took all the right classes, you studied the history, and you knew you were going to be it. then one day, you decided that it wasn’t for you, but you really didn’t know what was next. that’s my “quit golf” event.

i played everyday for 8 years. i was intent on being a pro and making a living on the links. i struggled with my swing, had some conflicts with my coach, and decided to hang up the clubs and pursue a business degree. some would say that worked out well. i’m happy with my job and i am on a good path in life, but is it the path i was supposed to be on? quitting golf made me realize that passion, diligence, friendship, and determination come from dreaming about what you want to be, and then using that dream as an engine for hard work.this event, or failure as I think about it now, taught me what makes me go, and it actually took me 8 years after the quit date to realize this

“some dream about success while others wake up and work hard at it” – i loved this quote, but i think you need the dream to have the desire to wake up and work hard at it

2. I went to Berkeley

this event is not about the school or the degree i received, but about the person i became. growing up in the orange county bubble, i felt sheltered. i didn’t think i was, and it took Berkeley to shake me up. Berkeley turned me into the person i am today. exposed to the “real world” that is oakland, or a mini version in telegraph avenue, the rainy dreary weather, the intellectual stimulation and politically driven conversations, the “real” people (and yes, seems odd, but believe me, in OC, there’s way too many of the opposite), and the culture of San Francisco changed me.

i felt that i had found the “real world” when i went to Berkeley, and i finally escaped from the cookie cutter lifestyle of Orange County. this was important because i found the woman that I love today as a result. Had i not gone to Berkeley, I probably would not of been open enough to marry inter-racially. My wife taught me how to feel, express, follow my heart…would I of missed out on this had I been with someone else? maybe, but maybe not. at least i know now that this important event brought me to the best teacher i’ve had in my life, and it made me a more confident, open minded, and curious person.

what’s important to you?

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