I received an email tonight from my friend Courtney and her husband Brandon. Their cat passed away. Kylee fought cancer for a few rough months. Each time I think about Kylee, I am sad. I mean really sad. Kylee’s passing affects me way more than I thought.

I really identify with loss now. I hate to say this is a good thing, but it’s one thing I’m proud I’ve learned over the last few months. My grandpa passed away 3-4 years ago, and I didn’t shed a tear. I felt inside, but that connection between that feeling and me was miles apart. Now, my friend’s cat passes away, and I’m deeply saddened by the loss and can’t think about it without a tear running down my face.

Of course I don’t mean to bring up that comparison as a relevant comparison….merely an illustration of the person I am today. I’ve gone through loss in the past few months and I’ve had to process and figure out what life is like when you live with loss. There have been ups, been downs, but that feeling of pain stemming from loss is very real to me now even though it’s not a regular feeling like it once was, I hate to see others go through it because I’m well aware of what it feels like!

I think about Courtney and Brandon and what this loss meant to them. I have so much empathy for what they’re going through, and I feel so bad for them. I wish there’s something that could bring Kylee back, but that’s the thing about loss…it’s gone. And you have to deal with the loss.

I think today about my two cats, riley and toby. I think about them growing up. I think about the day Toby got sick, and I was up all night taking him to emergency hoping that it was just a temporary problem. I think about how each day when I come home, they run to the door and follow me throughout the house. I think about the several nights I couldn’t sleep and sat in my bed, staring at the sealing with tears running down my face, and Toby crawling up to me and not leaving me alone providing love in an otherwise dark moment. I think about how these two boys, although cats, have become a huge part of my life. What would I do if one suddenly fell ill and past?

When you go through crisis in your life, pets are amazing companions. They love you no matter what you do or who you are. They don’t judge. It’s unconditional love (unless of course you don’t feed them, then it could be conditional hate). Tonight, I hug toby and riley a little tighter. With the wicked world we live in, we don’t know what tomorrow brings.

Brandon/Courtney, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what it would be like. I’m happy you have each other and you have Bodhi. Your hearts are so big and your love so strong that I know this can’t be a good time. Some people may say its just a pet, but I know how much more a pet can be. You’re in my prayers!